Thoughts

Bad Day

I have been sitting here contemplating a long bubble bath. It has occurred to me that there has to be a better way of life then this. Today was a very horrible day. Maybe reading this will make your day less bad. If my misery can help one lonely soul out there, then it was worth going through. I have been in such a bad mood today. I admit it, took it out on my boy. He is 13 and can push all those buttons that you didn't even know existed. Every little thing has irritated me today.

Bit of Background on Myself and My Child

I suffer from severe depression with PTSD. I have it under control for the most part with skills, tools, and meds. Some days are just worse then others and this was one of those days. As I get a following (if I am lucky to do so) I may go into why I have these conditions a bit more. There are some days I can barely move because I hurt so bad. And it has been getting increasingly more difficult to be around large groups of people as well. This has meant losing jobs (many, many jobs), having to move, and other consequences over the past 5 years.

My Son

My son has everything in the alphabet, or at least it feels like it. He suffers from ADHD, ODD, PPD-NOS, epilepsy, mood disorder, detachment disorder, and a learning disability. His father took custody from me when he was 5 and used the proceeding 5 years to abuse the hell out of him, helping shape our wonderful son into the person he is today. I am still picking up the pieces and trying to put him back together. These issues have also cost me jobs and apartments. I have never given up on him or myself and never will. No matter what it takes, how many moves, job changes,whatever. I will find stability for myself and my child.